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Does life feel like a hard slog? 

Puzzled by your behaviours?

Feeling stuck? Conflicted? Triggered? Anxious?

Lost your joy or creativity?  Or has that always felt elusive?

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​Internal Family Systems (IFS) could be the missing piece.  It was for me and for many of my clients. When you apply the IFS lens to your life, things can soon make a lot more sense, providing enormous relief.

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As an IFS trained Therapist, and Integrative Counsellor, I am delighted to offer private sessions (online or face-to-face in London SE23) to adults battling a wide range of issues around childhood trauma, anxiety, stress, insomnia, depression, addictions, food, body dysmorphia, low self-esteem, boundary setting, inner conflict, chronic shame, chronic health conditions, OCD, LGBTQ+, bereavement, parenting, low fertility, a harsh inner-Critic, mid-life, chronic indecisiveness, stifled/blocked creativity or problematic relationship patterns.  I am also experienced in supporting, and meeting the needs of clients facing all of these issues with the backdrop of neurodiversity.

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IFS helps you get to the root of a problem instead of treating the symptoms. We'll get to know the extreme parts of you involved and work respectfully with them to find another (less turbulent or self-destructive) way.  If you are new to IFS concepts you may be having an extreme reaction to my previous sentence but you've likely said 'part of me wants to X...But part doesn't', or are aware of debates/conversations in your head, and that's what I'm talking about. The natural multiplicity of our minds, or sub-personalities, often in conflict and causing us a lot of distress and indecisiveness. This is where IFS really helps.  The Pixar 'Inside out' films are based on the IFS model of mind and brilliantly depict these familiar inner struggles and how things settle down when parts of us learn to work together. I highly recommend these films for any kids, teens  ('Inside Out 2' is especially helpful for anxious teenagers) and adults.   

"I'm a million different people from one day to the next...'

Bitter Sweet Symphony, The Verve

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Maybe you're considering therapy because you're already acutely aware of a part of you that's making life difficult? A harsh critic? An Angry part? A perfectionist? A judge? A rebel? A worrier? A rule-bound part? An overthinker? A people pleaser? Hypervigilant parts? A Hedonist? Addictive parts? Caretakers or rescuers?  So many possibilities that often show themselves somatically.  It is well documented that traumas are stored in our body and some of my clients have found that some physical ailments, such as migraines and IBS, ease up through the associated parts finally getting some attention.  

 

'IFS recognises that the cultivation of mindful self-leadership is the foundation for healing from trauma'

Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk, bestselling author of 'The Body Keeps the Score'

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As referenced by Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk, Mindful Self-leadership is the main goal of IFS therapy. When you begin IFS therapy you'll soon start spotting your triggered parts and them commandeering the driving seat, directly impacting your relationships and/or your self-care.  You'll learn to pause, sit back and give them your attention from your naturally calm and compassionate core, or Self, and they'll start to trust you and see that there's another way where they don't need to dominate.  

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IFS is an easily accessible and shame-reducing way for clients to understand themselves, their inner system and their contradictory ways.  As most of our extreme parts are young and frozen in time, I've been really glad of my experience in working with children and helping them to feel safe.  IFS work is completely collaborative and empowering for you as the emphasis is on you gaining more access to your core wise and calm 'Self.'  You are the expert of your system, not me. I'll be your supportive, non-judgemental guide until you feel able to run the show independently. Some people only require a few sessions to dramatically improve their quality of life so this type of therapy can be a good short-term option.  Those with more complex protective systems, can require longer but even a few sessions can improve your outlook and ability to navigate life.​
 

"I think the first intrusion into one's own inner conflicts is not the most pleasant of experiences but working through them can really be one of the greatest adventures in life.  And it takes a certain amount of bravado and need and realisation that you're missing out on your own life!"  David Bowie 

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The valiant but misguided parts of us, that we once upon a time needed, can prevent us knowing and achieving our heart's desires.  And reduce our connection with others by putting up defenses to hide our vulnerabilities.  However, resisting any parts of ourselves causes a lot of our suffering and that's why a common IFS phrase is 'All parts are welcome!' and they really are.  And they shine a light on what work needs to happen first so another IFS mantra I find very helpful is "If it's in the way, it IS the way"

 

We'll get to know your troubled parts, their fears and the original trauma that prompted them to take on this role and then show them there's another possible way where they can finally rest and do what they were always meant to do before things got so tricky.

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"We often find that the harder we try to get rid of emotions and thoughts, the stronger they become" Dr Richard Schwartz 

 

Like many of my colleagues, IFS has become my most used therapeutic tool because it's so effective.  I suspect because of the level of clarity, self-awareness, relief and healing it provides.  In IFS there is a clear path to uncovering the root causes of your suffering and proven protocols to follow to resolve these.  It is all led by you, your wise 'Self', and is very respectful of all of your parts (we never do anything without the agreement of your whole system) so people often find they don't experience that common 'rawness' or 'backlash', that they do with other therapeutic models, after an intense therapy IFS session.  In fact, even after a very emotional IFS session (which is always welcome) clients often report feeling lighter, more settled and empowered the following week.  And if they don't then we know exactly what dynamic to look at the following week.  In sessions there can also be lots of joy and laughter when we meet your adorable young parts. 

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When I first heard Richard Schwartz explaining Internal Family Systems, I was instantly hooked and haven't stopped devouring every book, training and podcast ever since.  To enhance my IFS work I have additionally trained in 'Mindful Self-Compassion' (developed by Kristin Neff & Christopher Germer) which when slightly adjusted complements IFS especially when working with inner-critics and shame.  I am currently training to be a non-dual 'Effortless Mindfulness' facilitator with Loch Kelly as I find his 'glimpses' invaluable for accessing and maintaining more Self leadership throughout your day.  It totally fitted when I discovered he is also an IFS therapist and trainer who works closely with Richard Schwartz.  After my Effortless Mindfulness facilitator training I am looking forward to adding this dimension to my IFS Therapy offering.  I am IFS Level 2 trained (level 3 trainings are rare but once I can get on one I will) and am working with two IFS consultants towards becoming a certified IFS therapist and to make sure my work with clients is effective and ethical.  I also have my own personal IFS therapy to maximise my self-awareness in our sessions. 

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I know it's important you find the right therapist for you so do feel free to contact me if you are curious about IFS and would like a free 30 minute chat to see if we are a good fit.

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IFS therapists and practitioners are much in demand so if I don’t have availability I will do my best to find you suitable colleagues who do.  

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A few IFS links to get you started but there are so many so enjoy having a good explore:-

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What is IFS | IFS (internalfamilysystems.pt)

 

Dr. Richard Schwartz explains Internal Family Systems (IFS) 

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Internal Family Systems: How does IFS work? (welldoing.org)

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This Therapy Changed My Life And It Could Do The Same For You: Internal Family Systems with Dr Richard Schwartz - Dr Rangan Chatterjee (drchatterjee.com)

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Frank Anderson

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Internal Family Systems Therapy | Psychology Today

 

Mindful Self-Compassion links:-

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Self-Compassion Practices: Cultivate Inner Peace and Joy - Self-Compassion

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Meditations and Practices – Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

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Effortless Mindfulness & IFS:-

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IFS Self and Effortless Mindfulness: Learn IFS Exercises​

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Richard C Schwartz IFS Podcast Interview About Authentic Self 

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